Riders of scooters

To those of you riding scooters, please do not try to compensate for the innate uncoolness of your scooter by looking smug while you pass my truck that is obviously attempting to melt the ice caps while simultaneously burning the rain forest and drilling for oil in the Alaska wildlife refuge. If you feel you must compensate for you mode of transportation, try using another technique. I suggest goofy humor. Wear a sombrero, for instance. Or, if that's too dangerous, how about a one of those ties that look like a fish, and finish it off with comically oversize sunglasses? That way you can feel good about saving the planet, and I can feel good about the chuckle I get from seeing you. It's a win-win.

Multiple choice billboards

I saw a billboard today advertising for a local gym. It read, "Change your body. Change your life." Obviously these two statements were meant to be associated and even causal. But what if they weren't? What if the sign were meant to be multiple choice? I think that would be better.

An extremely original association

It's October, so I've been watching some baseball. I have to admit I'm not what would be classified as a baseball "fan". I happen to quite like the game itself, but my palette for the major leagues has been tainted by the lack of a salary cap, rampant free agency, and steroid scandals. So, when October rolls around each year, I have no idea who the teams are that are playing for the championship. But, FOX starts broadcasting the games in the evenings and since I have all of six channels to choose from (one of which is PBS), and they play in place of Seinfeld re-runs, I start watching the various series. It turns out they can be quite exciting, though it was a little tragic to see the Mets fan and his ten year old daughter literally weeping after their loss in the game that decided who would go to the World Series from the National League.

But one of the most striking things I've noticed this year is how incredibly valuable a single can be. Something as seemingly insignificant as reaching the first of four bases can quite often be the pivotal point in a game. I started doing some looking and found that some of the greatest comebacks in the history of baseball have been initiated by a single. Why? Well, because it gives the person coming after a chance to perform. Sometimes this person will hit the game winning home run, made possible by the seemingly small contribution in front of them. This makes the single as or more valuable than the home run.

I will now perform a feat that few before me have attempted (okay, it's been completely and possibly overdone, but let's pretend it hasn't). I will associate the game of baseball to life.

The single encourages me to do the seemingly small things that give others a chance to succeed. It reminds me that the apparently unnoticed task done well can inspire and encourage, often doing so in anonymity, but always with the possibility of far reaching benefits. When people are given the chance to do well, they often times do just that...and that's how, to use a fairly dramatic statement, the world is changed for good. I'd say do everything you can to give the person behind you a chance. Who knows, maybe they're a home run hitter and just need a few swings.

Reality snob

My wife and I were talking last night about the difficulties life seems to foist upon us almost constantly. To be more accurate, we were whining about it and lamenting the fact that it isn't easier and happier. In the midst of this I was reminded of a statement from Don Miller's book "Searching for God Knows What". At some point he (Don) is speaking with a very successful business man and for whatever reason the conversation turns to gambling. The business man very kindly states that all of the successful people he knows never gamble, but instead work hard, accept the facts of reality, and enjoy life. "But," Don says, "the facts of reality stink." His friend responds, "Reality is like a fine wine; it will not appeal to children." Don then goes on to say he's become quite snobby about the subtleties and nuances of reality.

I don't know that I'm quite a reality snob, and sometimes it feels like my reality comes out of a box someone got at the local gas station, but I will admit that considering life in this way helps me a good deal. Instead of operating on the premise that life is supposed to be heavily sweetened lemonade, or maybe at worst an Arnold Palmer so it has just a touch of tartness, considering it a wine allows me to notice its boldness, its complexity, its potency, and of course my wife would mention its strong chocolate undertones...which sometimes turn into overtones.

As a child, one taste of a good wine would have sent me running for the Coca-Cola. But, we all know that stuff is just killing us slowly.

A true fan

They say truth is better than fiction. I must agree. I couldn't make this stuff up on my best day.

A friend of mine was sharing about a guy he knows who plays fantasy football through the system in Las Vegas. This basically means that he likely spends a lot of money on his fantasy football league (henceforth referred to as FFL), and so probably a fair or commensurate amount of time on it as well.

For those of you who are not "in the know" about FFL, it is essentially an invention of the very desperate and very wishful sporting fan mind. At some pivotal point in human history, a group of fans decided that they needed another connection with their sport. The result of this longing is a game in which contestants "own" their own team (in the case of FFL it's a football team), and then draft real players to belong to their team before the real season starts. Then, each fantasy (or as some have termed it "pretend") team is awarded points based on the real life performance of its players. The fantasy teams play one another each week, and then a champion is declared at the end of the year. The prize for the champion can range anywhere from sweet, sweet bragging rights, to a large sum of money and in some cases a championship ring and trophy. Yes, it's a big, fancy, game of make-believe with a yearly revenue mark in the neighborhood of $1.5 billion; which is just a little less than the GDP of Mongolia.

So, my friend is telling me about this guy who plays in an FFL league through Vegas. Fall comes along one year and it turns out he and his wife are expecting a baby at any time. As luck (or a very powerful being with a sense of humor) would have it, his wife goes into labor on the day that his league is drafting players for their team. Clearly, this is a very important day for him. It is in fact so important that while his wife is preparing to bring forth a living being, he is on his cell phone, calling in his draft picks to Vegas!

This got me thinking though (after I had of course worked through the natural stages of denial, pity, mirth, and tearful laughter). Obviously most people would agree that this person's priorities were out of line. However, this conclusion (which I believe is quite right) is drawn from the premise that a marriage and a child's life are more important than a game, which is not a particularly difficult conclusion to draw based on our understanding of marriage and the value of human life, both of which are derived from our perspective on the world. But, the man on the phone, given his perspective, considered his choice to be the correct one. What if our perspective were also different? Would our choices also be different than they are now? One might here mention eternity, but that's awfully heady, and I don't think we need even go that far. What if our perspective involved a few hundred years, or our children's children? Would our values be different and therefore our priorities re-aligned? I have to believe they would be; and that we might in fact find ourselves partly horrified and partly amused at the number of hospital parking lots we've stood in, making phone calls to Vegas, building an imaginary dynasty.

Inspired by major sporting events occurring every four years

In reading through my last couple of posts I realized that I was at that time commenting on the winter Olympic Games. In considering what I might talk about this evening, I noticed that I will probably be talking a little about the World Cup. So, given the current trend, once the Cup finishes up in the next few weeks, I will be on schedule to make another post sometime in the summer of 2008. Feel the anticipation.

I really do appreciate the World Cup because it gives me, the typical American sports fan the opportunity to watch some really quality soccer (and I will continue to call it soccer for the reason stated above), which is a very rare thing. Of course, being an American and a sports fan I will not argue the point that soccer can be a bit dull at times. I watched the Mexico/Iran match this morning and at times found myself very seriously considering the notion that perhaps the rules had changed and the teams might actually be trying not to score...that whoever was able to best fake a career ending knee injury and then moments later run at world class speeds...or perhaps which coach smoked the most cigarettes, would determine the winning team. But of course I was proved wrong in a flurry of activity from Mexico, and then was able once again to witness the miracle of soccer; satisfaction with nearly an hour and a half of boredom and disappointment for a minute and a half of elation. The contrast between this and basketball is almost too shocking internalize. I very much agree with Adam Gopnik on the point that Americans like basketball and virtually the rest of the world likes soccer, and that this is an indication of the differences between the American culture and just about every other culture in the world. Actually, I think Gopnik was referring specifically to the differences between the U.S. and France, but I'll just go ahead and finish the thought out. By the way, if you haven't read "Paris to the Moon", I highly recommend it.

There is however one thing I'd like to see changed about the American coverage of the World Cup. Could we maybe get some people who aren't Americans to announce the game? I freely admit that I know nothing about the sport, but I sure would like to listen to someone talk who does, and I can sure tell that the people who are announcing it right now can't do too much more than point out which team is kicking it where. I think maybe someone from the British Isles would be excellent.

Difficult

We took a drive today. We covered a good deal of ground in the southern portion of Ada County and northern portion of Owyhee County. We saw some very beautiful country and got a little local culture. There really is nothing like watching people shoot rifles out of their pick-up truck.

This was all very nice, but probably not worthy of a posting here. However, we also visited a nature trail. Well, that's at least about as close as I can come to describing it with a phrase from the common vernacular. I believe it described itself as a "faith adventure", but that doesn't really do it justice either. In fact, I don't know that I'll really be able to do the experience justice with words alone. It's quite possible that the only way to really understand what I'm talking about (and that's not to say that you'll understand the "nature trail" itself, because I've been there and I don't think I really understand it) is to actually visit the place. I will however briefly attempt to describe it, and then I'll provide directions for getting there.

As I mentioned before, the place is akin to a nature trail. It begins very near the Snake River, winds along its banks for a few hundred yards, and then takes a jog toward the sagebrush covered hills to the north of the river. It then loops back along the bottom of the hill to where it began. In total it is perhaps a mile long. This is where its similarities to anything I've ever seen before end. As I also mentioned before, the area describes itself as a faith adventure, and it definitely has a theme based in fundamental Christianity, but there is so much to it that has nothing at all to do with...well with anything I could understand.

Placed along the trail are what I can only describe as exhibits, like something you might encounter in a museum. But these were unlike any exhibit in any museum. There is one with statues of zoo animals, one with bronze sculptures of children playing baseball with other bronze statues standing around, though it's clear that the other statues were not designed to be included with the baseball players. Another has a group of plaster birds standing around a sign that says "Bird Sanctuary". Further down the path is a bench you can share with Mark Twain, which shares space with small, beige, statues of boys and girls carrying very large, colored, shiny spheres and has you looking out over the river. The trail then moves through an "enchanted forest", complete with little metal deer, gargoyles, dwarves, a bridge that doesn't cross anything and that you don't have to walk over, but which of course houses a troll. The enchanted forest then ends at the foothills, and the trail begins to work its way back toward the beginning of the trail. This portion of the trail is where the Christian theme comes out...though it is certainly not the only theme, as evidenced by the bronze buck with a sign behind it that says, "I have come out of the forest so that you may see how beautiful I am", and of course the somewhat commonplace at this point beige children with their awkward looking spheres. There are three crosses visible on the hill above the trail, as well as a very large, synthetic rainbow a little higher up, symbolizing God's promise not to destroy the earth by water again. There are also displays for the resurrection, a chapel open for prayer, and a display with the theme of Jesus as the shepherd. The trail then ends where it began. However, now you see that there are animal pens here containing pigs and chickens...and peacocks running loose around the various buildings. All along the path are dozens of little bird houses on posts with different themes and little placards attached to the posts with phrases meant to encourage and inspire. These placards display such things as "Isn't it a great day?" or "Awake, alert, alive!" or "God answers prayer" and dozens of others...some which make slightly less sense, like "Exercise to the forefront".

This is of course a completely private enterprise, built simply for people to come and experience. It is completely outfitted with lights along the entire trail so people may visit at night if they like. It is also without a doubt the strangest walk I have ever taken.

To visit, take highway 45 south from Nampa, ID. Just before the road crosses the Snake River you'll notice a gas station on your left. Turn as if going into this gas station, but just before you reach the pumps you'll notice a little road to the right going down toward the water. This will lead you to a museum about the ferry crossing that used to exist at that place, and to your left you will find the area about which I have spoken.

As a side note, I would like to say that I have found the Olympic event of Ice Dancing the most humorous of the games. Not that the actual event itself is all that funny (it actually looks very tough and combines two activities for which I have zero ability), but between the outfits and the commentary, I've gotten several good chuckles. The outfits of the Italian team have been especially brilliant, with the pink v-neck taking the award for "Most Unlike an Athletic Uniform In the History of Sport". The commentary has included such phrases as "romance in their bodies", "pleasing to the eye without arresting it", and "extremely pleasurable to watch"...all of which I would love to seen incorporated into Monday Night Football at some point in the coming year.

Bad news

I realize I've been out of the game for some time now and that my public is probably wondering where I've been and when, oh when I'll make another post. I would really very much hate to disappoint either of the people who occasionally glance at this in times of desperate boredom.

Firstly I'd like to make just an ever so brief comment on the Ohio Board of Education. I heard the story on NPR the other morning concerning their repeal of standards that encouraged teachers to present the theory of evolution critically. In this report, board member Martha Wise is quoted saying that it is unfair to mislead children about the nature of science and that the standards for critically presenting the theory of evolution are "bad news". Is this really the kind of logic going into these decisions? Is there a reason anywhere in these arguments, or do we just get vague statements like "the nature of science" and declarations like "it's bad news"? If anything is unfair to the children it's being taught a theory as if it were proven fact and having decisions made for them without reason or rationale. I have no idea what the nature of science is, but I'm fairly sure it would include investigating all theories and presenting the strengths and weaknesses of each. These types of decisions are promoted by judicial bullying and cemented by fear. There is no logical reason not to teach the theory of creationism in public schools. It is not unconstitutional and it is not unscientific to do so, and I have not heard one good argument to convince me otherwise. Teaching that a "higher energy" designed and created the universe is very, very far away from teaching that in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth, and is still further away from any of the theistic religions in the world. Simply because a theory involves an event outside our understanding does not necessarily mean the theory is "unscientific". The fact of the matter is that no one knows how life originated on this planet and every theory we currently have available must always remain a theory because there must have been an event or a set of events that we cannot fully explain. Hence we have the big bang theory, the theory of creation, the autocatalytic set theory, and even Francis Crick's incomplete theory of directed panspermia, in which he states that an alien race might have planted life here on earth. Why can we not see that to accept any one of these theories as truth requires some level of faith and that to single one of them out because it requires faith in a higher being is illogical? Why don't we just explain to the kids that some people believe things happened this way for these reasons, and that others believe they happened this way for these reasons? At least then we could stop lying to them (and maybe ourselves) and covering it up with phrases like "the nature of science".

I would also like to offer my congrats to those men who participate in the sport of the two man luge without any apparent coercion. A more compromising position for a man to find himself in on network television, I do not believe one could find and I appreciate you making that sacrifice for the sake of your sport.

Authorities are also counting...

I'm out on CNN.com reading an article about the tornado in Indiana and the death tolls for Warrick county in Indiana. The article says that the toll now stands at four and that "Authorities also are counting as a fifth death the 8-month-old fetus of one of the victims."

When did we start counting a fetus as a human life? Doesn't the entire argument for abortion stand basically on the premise that the fetus is not a human life? If we are going to start counting fetus in such a manner, wouldn't the argument for abortion need to then turn to women having the right to kill their own children?

Good birthday.

Cute!

Exploration

He's smiling because he knows their destiny...and how good that will taste.

The children seem to believe the camera will take their souls.

And the kids got to take home neck braces as souvenirs.

Just a theory

Here's a theory I've been working on for the last few weeks:

The number of words (synonyms) available to identify something in a given society reflect the relative predominance of that thing in the society.

Here are some examples from the American English language (since I have some familiarity with that one). These are just off the top of my head, and of course done without the aid of a thesaurus.

Weather of all kinds have ridiculous numbers of descriptive words, but rain in particular seems to get a lot of attention. We have rain, showers, drizzle, spitting rain, cloud bursts, thunder storms, heavy rain, light rain, driving rain, etc.

Need we even get into the number of words for the male genitals or sex?

We have a few words for money: buck, dough, cash, and I think they used to also call it "bread", but I don't think we really use that any more.

I'm no linguist, but I understand that the Greek language has three words for "love" and that Hebrew has three words for "God". Again though, just a thought.

The Christian revolution in the society of fruit has begun with the raspberries. Many thought it would be the chinaberries leading the way, what with all the mission work in the last 50 years, but that turns out not to be the case.

Festa Mutante

We somewhat recently went to a street fair here in Boise. They call it a street fair, but I believe a more accurate name would be hippie carnival. It's really a carnival without rides, a lot of booths selling incense, and of course the strong smell of marijuana. They also have some things only a hippie carnival would have, such as a petition for legalizing marijuana, and a booth for the local atheists group, which came complete with bumper stickers like "Born OK the first time".

There was also a "comedy" troupe there that went by the name Circo Mutante. This is apparently a group of young adults (listing toward very hippie) who travel around the country in a bus that runs on vegetable oil and perform skits at these street fairs. The fact that they were far from comedic doesn't really need commentary. However, it was very interesting that when this group announced at the beginning of their show that their bus ran on vegetable oil, they got a big round of applause.

At first I was confused as to why this would be. These people have done nothing extraordinary or courageous. If we're going to clap for someone, let's clap for single moms who work two jobs so their daughters can go to gymnastic practice, or the good public servants, or the volunteers, or the father who does excellent work in the face of a mundane job, or the good soldiers of the world, or the people on the ground in the fight against hunger, aids, human rights, or illiteracy. Young adults without direction driving around in a bus to produce bad comedy are low on the list of those deserving positive recognition.

But I then realized the people were not clapping for the young adults, but for the sacrifice they had made to the god of the environment. That particular god is so powerful in our culture that anything done seemingly in its name is deemed good, right and admirable almost without regard to the actual content of the act. I think it's what would be termed "fundamentalist" behavior if those people happened to be attached to a publicly recognized diest religion.

Ron Paul's commentary on the war

This is really a fantastic read...well beyond the need for any additional thoughts from me.

http://www.house.gov/paul/congrec/congrec2005/cr090805.htm

A note to parents, do not allow your child to stand on a geyser. If they do, follow the man's example and just walk away.