Drinkability

I have so many objections to Anheuser-Busch's new ad campaign that I can hardly even make this post. However, let me begin by saying that this will not be a beer snob post. While it has been suggested that this label would perhaps be an accurate one for me (I'm not so sure), I'm not here going to even attempt to make a critique of any of A-B's beers. I'm sure that's been done over and over, and I don't need to repeat that work. Long ago I came to realize that the American macro-brews serve a purpose, and while that purpose is not to brew delicious beers of various varieties, it is at least in part to offer refreshment to those who would not perhaps enjoy a more aggresive or full brew. I don't need to enjoy these macro-brews myself to see that others might.

I do however have a problem with the "drinkability" campaign. To begin, drinkability is a noun, albeit one that is not frequently used. It's a liquid that's suitable or safe for drinking. A-B claims the difference between Bud Light and other light beers is drinkability; that "just right taste". Of course a taste can't be described with a noun because taste is a noun in this context, so that would just be silly. For instance, I probably wouldn't describe the taste of a taco as a cow, as in "this taco tastes cow". That obviously doesn't make any sense, and for good reason. In English, you can't use a noun to descibe a noun. As someone who watches a bit of sport, and so not a few of these commercials, I would prefer a claim like "the supremely drinkable beer", just for my own ability to passively consume the message, ignore it, and move on.

But petty English grievances aside, I'll admit that we don't use "drinkability" as a noun much, and Urban Dictionary does in fact use it as an adjective "evaluating how smooth and easy-to-drink a beverage is." This is also an accepted term in the beer community to basically describe how fast one drinks a beer when one is not attempting to drink either quickly or slowly. So, in this context, the use of the term by A-B makes sense.

However, this means that A-B is spending roughly $50 million US dollars to inform people they can drink a bunch of Bud Light, quickly. Awesome. But wait, is this good? Isn't water the most drinkable liquid in the world? Doesn't that mean that if Bud Light is the most drinkable beer, it has the most water? Is this really how a brewing company would like to differentiate it's light beer, on how close it is to pure water? I'm thinking probably not, but it is in fact what this new ad campaign is suggesting.

Finally, since I do watch some sports, I also get to enjoy the Budweiser commercials that are currently being aired. The pitch here (with a little shout out to Idaho) is that Budweiser is the only beer that offers the perfect balance of taste and refreshment. Sound familiar? Yes, A-B is currently suggesting that its "premium" lager offers the same advantage its light beer does, namely that it tastes alright, but is also good for pounding and use in beer bongs. I suppose though that I should be respectful of the thread of honesty that's running through these campaigns. I wonder if all of this is InBev's idea...